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Listen: www.blogtalkradio.com/thescare-ening
Official Site: www.thescare-ening.pretty-scary.net

*Sean Patrick Flanery will not appear on the show

My first article on SciFiwire.com, for whom I now write. It is basically a hash-up of all the hot guys on TV right now in sci-fi, fantasy, or genre who aren’t on Supernatural.

Enjoy the giant, shirtless picture of Josh Holloway.

As Andrew Feenberg has long argued, democratizing technology often requires its reconstruction and re-visioning by individuals. “Hackers” have redesigned technological systems, notably starting the largely anti-capitalist Open Source and Free Software movements, and indeed much of the Internet itself has been the result of individuals contributing collective knowledge and making improvements that aid various educational, political, and cultural projects. Of course, there are corporate and technical constraints in that dominant programs and machines impose their rules and abilities upon users, but part of re-visioning technoliteracy requires the very perception and transformation of those limits. Technoliteracy must help teach people to become more ethical producers, as well as consumers, and thus it can help to redesign and reconstruct modern technology towards making it more applicable to people’s needs and not just

their manufactured desires.

In these immortal words (yes, immortal) written by Critical Social Theorist Douglas Kellner (who I have decided is my new academic mentor) in “Reconstruction Technoliteracy”, I now clearly see why I have been such a huge supporter of free license and open source software, like the one which I am using to get this message to you.

And also, it is free.

Jumping to Palin’s defense as she is attacked by the Nazi/fascist/Communists that make up the Democrats are right-wing Christians (naturally) and that paragon of human rights Newt Gingrich.

Patients (especially the elderly and the retarded) will be led into a Hall of Judgement, much like this one.

The Health Minister finds this sick man obsolete, and sentences him to death to save money, putting the needs of the ‘many’ over the needs of the ‘few’, (just like all socialists)

Family members will be forced to bury the remains of their euthanized loved ones in shallow graves under the supervision of mean Nazis.

On his televised show ‘Sympathy For The Masses’, Gingrich defended Palin against the unreasonable criticism of her statements by suggesting, “Communal standards historically is a very dangerous concept… You are asking us to trust turning power over to the government, when there are clearly people in American who believe in establishing euthanasia, including selective standards.”

Standing tall at the podium of Justice, Palin inspired millions with her Dr. Martin Luther King-like speech in which she asked, “And who will suffer the most when they ration care?

The sick, the elderly, and the disabled, of course. The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”

The fact that this courageous woman was willing to bring up her mentally handicapped son, Trig, in order to show us that she too fears this vile universal healthcare system, shows how upset she really is. She has previously always asked people to ‘leave her family out of it’ (meaning her career) but as we can clearly see, Palin too is ‘one of us’ and could just as easily be sent to a death camp for having born a retarded child.

It was quite possibly the worst film I had seen in a long time. So bad, in fact, that (I didn’t think this was possible) that I was actually offended on some primordial level by how horrific and awful it was.

I can’t describe it well – its not just that the filmmaker was bad with a camera or wrote a crappy story – there’s more to it. There was a pervading sense of arrogance to the whole thing. As if they thought it was good because they think they’re ‘horror aficionados’ and things like acting, writing, directing, special effects, and editing are unimportant when making a movie as long as you have female nudity.

I was offended by their smug attitude. And I was offended that the filmmaker, one Jim Haggerty, calls the film Jim Haggerty’s ‘Grave Danger’. As if ‘he’ is a real director and that lends credence to the awful film. As if he ‘deserves’ to get attention for this because in his own mind he’s some kind of genius. Ugh.

THEN, I find out they’re actually CHARGING MONEY on AMAZON for this pile. I knew I had to do something. Justice called.

So I posted the following negative review in hopes that no one will be suckered into actually paying money for this arrogant, unwatchable pile.

You don’t have to judge this movie by its crappy cover art alone – one viewing will be the most excruciating cinematic experience you’ve had in a long time.

Poor dialogue, horrible cinematography of the most juvenile and hack kind, plus some obviously uncomfortable nude non-professional actresses shot in bad lighting with seemingly little or no direction are actually the highlights of the anthology.

Be warned!

So, you think I was harsh, maybe? To my credit the director adds this in his bio on yellowape.net:

“I hate editing,” Haggerty says. “It’s the worst. Shooting a movie is my favorite thing to do in the world. My second favorite is showing my completed film to an audience and seeing how they react to it. The bits in the middle that involve sitting and watching endless takes and re-takes and stitching them together and re-stitching them is torturous.”

About the next film he shot, and the editing process (his wife is his editor), he says this in his bio:

“After our honeymoon,” Haggerty says. “I had tons of footage of us walking around Vegas having a good time together that thought could be edited down to a fun little video. Susan went online, downloaded some really crappy free program, and even though it was hard to work with and very limiting, she came up with a really great looking vacation video we could show people. This was when I realized she had a talent for this – and a lot of patience. We ran out and bought an editing system and Susan banged out a rough edit of ‘Witchmaster General’ in three weeks!”

(mind you, this is AFTER he shot ‘Grave Danger’)

What I don’t understand is why he’s getting positive review from loooowwww-budget review sites.

Rogue Cinema says, ‘Grave Danger has it’s fair share of frights and shower scenes, but it’s also just fun, I defy you to sit and watch Grave Danger and not find something to like about this movie’.

Consider yourself defied.

Infernal dreams says, ‘The film does have a lot of substance to it and it is a very good time.’

I don’t know what opium pipe these folks or smoking, or what, but I seem to have a very different take on this film that the other reviewers.

Is it too harsh to judge a micro budget film in this way? I don’t think so. If you have a good story, well-written dialogue, a decent director, and competent use of ANY camera, you can come up with a better film than this. I truly believe that.

Also interviewed were:

Brenna Lee Roth – star of Killer Biker Chicks and DOG and producer of Grind House Glory

Scarlet Salem – star of Killer Biker Chicks

Bianca Barnett – star of Albino Farm

Nicole Kruex – aka-Nikki Homicide K – star of Zen: Hunter

Rachel Grubb – star of 13 Hours in a Warehouse

Seregon O’Dassey – star of Ghost Watcher 2 & False Face and Playboy model

Evie Effects – FX artist, model, actress

April Monique Burril – star of Chainsaw Sally (featuring Jimmy ‘O)

Monique Dupree – star of Bachelor Party in the Bungalow of the Damned

And a special guest appearance by former Hammer Films scream starlet Ingrid Pitt, whose portrayal of Countess Dracula gave a new meaning to the term Scream Queen long before it became popular for future generations of horror film fans. 

$19.95 + $5 postage, and coming in July 2009 from  BearManor Media

Bridget is a really hot comedian and her show is a talk show which takes place on her BED.

With Bridget’s help, I give a tutorial on shooting the infamous horror shower scene and explains why romantic comedies are just like slasher films. I also reveals she’s gay (I’m  not) and explains her deep love for Megan Fox (who I hate).  

Confused? Then watch the episode figure it all out.

I was SO honored to be on the show. Wanna watch it? Here it is!

This is issue #90. What's awesomest is that they have a whole feature on NAZI ZOMBIES in there also; how did I get so lucky????????!

ALSO: The June 1, 2009 issue (#90) of Rue Morgue Magazine  features a review of Wretched in the CINEMACABRE section under Abbreviated Terrors . Since I haven’t mentioned it enough, Wretched stars legendary redneck/man of mystery Joe Bob Briggs and the-woman-of-a-thousand-commercials Jaime Andrews and is scary and awesome because I made it!

My friend Jessica just showed me this new amazing technology! Using this handy dandy chart created by NASA and Harvard University,  you can now easily determine whether an upcoming film will suck or not!

This weekend, you may wonder whether to go see Terminator Salvation or not. How will you know if it sucks?  There are three helicopters in the trailer, and one of them explodes. So, by consulting this scientific reference chart, we can probably safely predict that the movie will rate pretty high in suckiness.